So. We figured out a first name for our little guy. Yes, one we actually agreed on.
But then the middle name we've been stuck on for a long time. Bryan really wanted it to be a family name of someone he looked up to and such. A name that meant something great. He didn't want to use his own name. Probably seemed a little strange to him.
While in the shower I was thinking about what his middle name should be. The answer I got... Who is the man you admire and love most? Who is the most important man in your life? Who is going to be the most important man in your child's life? Who will your child admire most?
And the answer of course without a doubt is Bryan. So. I called Bryan up at work. And told him (not asked him) that his middle name was going to be Bryan. It may not flow as cute as I wanted it to. But it has a lot more meaning in it. What a special name he will have. The name of his amazing dad.
I'm excited to have a name. Especially one that I feel so strong and emotional to.
Here the girls are on their "merry-go-round." They rode their horses and enjoyed their fair.. It was fun.
Then Hannah decided it was the perfect spot to put her feet up and enjoy looking at the constellations, even if it was 5:00 in the afternoon.
And here is my garden. For years I've wanted one. And now I have one! Today I had my very first strawberry from my garden. It would have been days ago I had one, but a bird ate the other ripe one. I'm pretty sure in the next week or so, we'll have about 15ish.. I'm also hoping one of the tomato plant will have ripe tomatoes on it soon. There are a few that are starting to grow. So hopefully soon we'll be eating them!
Lately we have been struggling. Not as badly as it could be. But it really has been a struggle. We've been having financial struggling, behavior struggling, and just dealing with all the other life issue struggling. I'd been pretty down, extremely down and pretty hopeless. I was stressed beyond what I could take. Seriously, I was stressed beyond what I could take. I was doing everything on my own, and failing at it miserable.
One night, after spending the entire day in bed just crying. I told Bryan that something had to change. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't enjoying any bit of life. I wasn't enjoying being a mom, a wife, a person. I wasn't enjoying anything.
We decided that we needed to be a lot stronger in studying the scriptures as a family EVERYDAY. No matter what. We also decided that we needed to have faith and put our problems in Heavenly Fathers hands. We fasted about what to do. We were struggling with Hannah, to the point that I really didn't like her most of the day. I loved her, but couldn't stand being around here. She just yelled and screamed and whined ALL DAY LONG.
This change happened about three weeks ago.
We have received so many blessings both small and large through Heavenly Father and people he has placed in our life.
I thought I'd share some of the amazing blessings. Of course, I won't be able to share all of them, since there has been really so many.
*More hours for Bryan. He hasn't been getting a ton more hours. But just enough to make it so we can pay all our bills. He's also had a HUGE amount of sales that he gets commission on.
*This morning when I checked our bank account the amount Bryan got paid was more then I calculated by about $40. And I calculated pretty dead-on. That might not seem like a lot, but that extra will cover one of the bills.
*WIC. Our budget for food is really low right now because we spent to much on groceries at the beginning of the month. I decided we needed to go back on WIC. We go through like a gallon of milk a day. At three dollars a gallon, it gets expensive! I was worried about our grocery budget for this last week, because it was TINY. We weren't suppose to be able to get in to an appointment at WIC until the middle of July. But somehow our paperwork got all messed up and they decided to just start things from scratch and told me to come in the next day as a walk-in. MAJOR blessing.
*Hannah. I felt that Hannah needed more positive attention. I felt that if we did that and if we also were stricter on what we let her get away with we would be able to stop the problems we've been having with her. She's an amazing kid. I've been given patience to deal with her. And she has also realized what needs to be done to make this a happier home. She only acts out a few times a day, which we immediately are able to stop, and some days we have no whining or temper tantrums.
*Maternity clothes. I was really starting to get down and stressed. I needed some pants that were comfy and fit. I haven't gained any weight this pregnancy, but the weight has shifted and I my pants were all starting to be really uncomfortable. One day my mom was like "and if you need anything, just let me know." Just her normal way of letting me know she was there for me, and opening the door in case we needed anything. I swallowed my pride, which I will admit was WAY harder for me to do then it should be. and said "i need a pair of pants that fit. I can't find a place in our budget to get some. I need just one pair." And she of course, doing what she normally does she went beyond what I needed and ordered me a few shirts and two pair of pants. More then what I need to get through this pregnancy. (i still have comfy pants that fit, just needed a pair to wear out in public). Huge HUGE blessing. Now I don't need to cry and stress each time I have to leave the house.
*Schooling. I think we've decided on what we're going to do. And I feel good and right about it. It also has been easier to homeschool. I have noticed that I was pushing Hannah to hard and going at a speed that was to fast for her in reading. Which was making her HATE reading. We are starting back at a place where she can have more sucessful days and regain her sense of love for reading. Things seem to fall into place better and we have better overall days.
*there have been small blessings and miracles, that are small, but big deals to us. Like this morning. Bryan was late in putting his work clothing into the dryer. He put the whole load in. When he went to get it out of the dryer, only minutes before he had to leave for work. EVERYTHING in the dryer was still soaked, except his work shirt and pants, they were COMPLETELY dry. Which is nothing short of a miracle.
*Hope. We have hope again. We decided to let Heavenly Father steer the ship. And though we know it's going to be hard, we know it's all going to work out. We are putting our all into having faith. And we are being blessed ten-fold.
We have had so many more blessings. We are happier and enjoying life once again. We aren't just sailing through. We know that we must put in our all into it and do EVERYTHING we can, and then let Heavenly Father put in the rest. Because if we take on it all by ourselves, we will fail. But if we do our all and let Heavenly Father make up the difference. We will succeed and find joy in doing so.
That's what we are learning. Slowly.. We've had a few Leman and Lemuel moments. But they are coming fewer and farther between. I've been having more Nephi moments. Where everything breaks yet we can still slay some beast to feed our family, through our faith in Heavenly Father.
So next week is enrollment for kindergarten. Problem is.. I haven't decided what we're going to do. Should we continue homeschooling or should we give public school a try.
Biggest problem in deciding. Is both are good. I'm not against either of them. A year ago, I was completely against homeschooling. Now I like it. But I think public school is good too.
There are bad and good of both. So I just don't know what to do!!!
We're having another baby which will making schooling a little harder, but still do able.
I just don't know what to do.. What's your opinion? And please don't say anything about the "socializing aspect" of either. I am very well researched on both sides of schooling.. yet I just can't decide!!!!!
Yep! Bingham baby number four is due to be born!!!!!
We are really excited. And if you know us at all you'll know yes we are hoping for a boy! This is going to be our last one.... Our last chance of having a boy... Of course we love our girls and would love the baby still if it is a girl.
We've been having so many good and wonderful days. Seriously. Just amazingly happy days. Today isn't one of those days. I just can't seem to kick it. I've been overdoing things so my hip is now acting up. I can't stop, there is so much I've got to do, but now I get to do it in a lot of pain. Maybe one day I'll get a doctor to look at it, when I have time.
Abigail started falling asleep in the car while we were trying to find the post office. And now I think she's decided to skip the nap. Not okay today. The one day I just need a breather.
We haven't watched any TV (since we had our Superbowl party on Sunday) this week. And before that it had been a while. But today, during Abigail's hopefully nap time. I just have to get some breathing time in. We'll make up by having Saturday school...
And of course, Bryan had some people over yesterday and so the girls were up late. So Emotional Hannah is driving me to the end of my rope..
I was reading and article where someone asked "what do stay at home moms do during the day?" My house is a mess, my kids are watching T.V., I haven't really done anything. Yet I'm emotionally exhausted. I've just been chasing after them, mediating them, feeding them, clothing them, talking and teaching them, changing diapers. Yes it might not look like a lot on paper. But it really does take a lot out of me somedays! I'm glad the article was posted, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Someone understood EXACTLY how my day is going today.
Okay. I'm all vented out. Sorry. I really just had to get it out to someone today, so I can move on from it.
So, we're moving on.
I'll have to post some pics from our life here so far. I've really been enjoying it. We have a great ward, we are staying in a great house. We are just having a lot of fun together.. It's a very laid back city. And I kind of like it.
Hopefully I'll do a real post in a few days! Thanks for listening to me venting!!
Last night at dinner, yes Bryan and I got to go on a date!!, we were talking. And we've realized how very blessed we are. I thought I'd ought to write down our blessings. This year we are going to try and remember more our blessings and not look at others. These are in no order.
1. We have a huge home. It's huge for us. It's the biggest home we've lived in as a married couple. And for some reason, we've been able to afford it. It has a great size room for the girls to play with.
2. Family. We have tons of family that are cnlose. Yes, it's about to change. And it's going to be sad. But we really have been blessed to live around them for so long. My mom and Bryan's mom were able to be at ALL the births of our three kids. We've been able to also create more of a friendship then a parentship with our parents. It's been really nice to say one of my best friends is my mom. And I don't plan on this changing. And we've got a bunch of the girls' aunts and uncles right around us.
3. We have enjoyed a lot of "extras". Internet, cellphones, dates to restaurants,and so much more then we deserve.
4. Our kiddos. 3 AMAZING and UNIQUE girls. I just couldn't and wouldn't want to change then for the world. Seriously. Their uniqueness and all the fun we've had. Man, they really have made life so much better.
5. I get to be a stay at home mom, and homeschool them. I love them so much. And really am grateful for all the time I get to spend with them. Yes, sometimes it is hard. But it's worth it. I also love that I get to be their when they learn something new and get excited. Remember when your child took her first step, how exciting it was. That's kind of how homeschooling is for me. But more and more exciting times!
6. Our move. Seriously. It's amazing how Heavenly Father works. It's the answer to so many of our prayers. And though it's had some hick-ups, we can see that it has been guide with a Divine hand. From my parents buying the house we get to stay in (until theirs here sells) to Bryan's job transfer (seriously, an OD down the street from where we're moving.)
7. Talents. I feel my love for teaching is a talent that was given to me. I love being able to come up with new and fun things, and I can see Heavenly Fathers help in the things I come up with. My newest organizational talent. Planning and organizing and helping things go smoother is something that I've recently acquired. Each talent that we were given we are so grateful for.
8. Heavenly Father. Seriously he has blessed us with everything we need. (if this was in order, this would be first) There is no way to ever give him enough back, we are forever in his debt.
I could go on and on and on. But won't. I know our life hasn't been easy, but it has been so guided and directed by our Heavenly Father. From the first phone call we had together before we were dating to the job losses we've gone through. From each struggle and each friend I've had to lift me up. I know some people would never pick our life. But it's been such an amazing ride this far. I don't think I'd trade anything for it.
This year. I am going to try and continue to count our blessings. Because, as I've expressed we have had so many more to write.
Bryan and Melissa have been married for 7 years. The story of how we became is great. Bryan said "I'm going to marry you, Melissa." Melissa said, "I don't think so." And here we are more then seven years later. We have three beautiful little girls and one handsome little dude. We just moved to Idaho. Bryan is working so Melissa can stay at home. Melissa is enjoying being a stay at home mom. We've been homeschooling our kids since June of 2010. We have our ups and downs, but are so grateful for everything we have. Life is really good. Even on stressful, rainy, sleepless days. We really love our cute little family. And can't wait to see it grow and grow.