This morning I woke up, and was very excited. Today is Easter! Yay!! ... I was so excited to go to church. I love the Easter program put on at church.
I've been having a few tough weeks.. And I knew this was exactly what I needed, A day to just sit back and remember my Savior. I was truly uplifted at church today. The musical numbers were just amazing. Emily and Hannah were almost completely quiet throughout the entire sacrament hour. Emily was so happy with listening to the music. I turned to her during one of the songs.. And asked her if she felt happy inside, and she said "yes." I'm so glad she will get to learn to feel Heavenly Father's love so early in life. Not only learn to feel it, but be able to understand what the feeling is. It was truly an hour of peace for me and my family. I'm so grateful for the Church. I'm so grateful for the peace and comfort, and happiness it brings me and my family.
I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ's sacrifice. When I was younger, I refused to repent. Not because I was a horrible kid, and didn't feel sorry for what I had done. But because I didn't want to be a reason for Jesus to shed his blood. I guess in a way I felt that such a perfect man had to die because I made stupid mistakes, and amazing guy died for me.. for plain, simple, unperfect me.. But, Luckily, I gained more knowledge. And I am so grateful for all the drops he has shed for me. I know he has already shed them, whether or not I decide to repent, so I should accept his sacrifice for me. I need to repent and not waste what he has already given to me.
I'm so grateful for today. I really was able to step aside from my life.. and remember what's really important. To remember, that when I get mad and am not a perfect mother, I will be forgiven if I ask to be. That I'm not expected to be perfect. That I'm only expected to do as much as I can, and then I will be assisted by a loving Heavenly Father in everything else I need.
I've been thinking this for a long time. My best friend posts a spiritual thought every sunday. It has inspired me every week. When I was 16 years old (or maybe i was younger), I made a goal for myself. I was going to bare my testimony for the entire year EVERY fast sunday. I completed the year, and continued doing this almost every fast and testimony until after I graduated from high school. This experience was such a strengthening experience for me. I was able to truly grow spiritually. To remind myself once a month what I believed. To remind myself out loud. SO.. I'm going to give myself a goal... It's only going to be a three month goal.... (since i'm going to be having a baby and life is going to get hectic) But each week on sunday I'm going to try and share one of my spiritual experience... weither I have it that week, or have had it in the past. Why? I feel that I need to remind myself outloud (plus this is a journal for me and I will probably end up printing it) more often about how Heavenly Father has blessed and helped me. Plus, who knows maybe I'll be able to also help someone else out..
So, i'm going to start today.
On Saturday... I was having a EXTREMLEY rough day. I called Bryan at work... And I told him, I just didn't think I could handle it anymore. Seriously, I was in tears and everything. His reply.. "have you said a prayer." .. Of course I hadn't. I didn't say it right away either... I was stubborn, and I thought I could just figure things out on my own. I was WRONG. Within a half an hour I was about to call someone for help. I was just over stressed, over tired, and my emotions were overwhelming. I got the girls together in their room, and we said a prayer. I prayed that I would have some peace and be able to feel the spirit better. After the prayer, I just felt different. I wasn't stressed, the stress literally just left. I decided to clean up the girls' room, instead of asking them to help, I just did it myself. Half way through, I noticed Hannah helping me. Then Emily helped me. They didn't help me a ton or anything. But they helped me. They then listened when I asked them to do things (like bring cups down to the sink in the kitchen, and etc.) they did it without me having to ask twice. When we were almost done I had this good idea to turn on some hymns. I went to the cd player. But the cd didn't work. So instead, I turned it to the radio, and some fun to dance to song was playing... And I started dancing (sitting down) and the girls joined in.. We then searched the radio for the next 10 minutes, going from one fun daning song to the next. It was so much better then I could have thought. I think it was just the break I needed to make it through the day. On top of that, it reminded me how much Heavenly Father loved me, and how he was watching over me helping me raise my little angels.